Idler turns critic-My state

First of all I would like to clarify that here ‘My state’ doesn’t mean state of my mind or my body or my heart or eyes or kidney or liver or any other body part…!!! It here refers to the state where I live…My state-UTTAR PRADESH

It’s an irony that the region which was selected by the three most respected personalities to be their birthplace (two being Lord RAMA and Lord KRISHNA) is now at the bottom of almost all the aspects related to development. I might talk about the development potential of this state and the bottlenecks to those developments in the next post.

I spent first 17 years of my life here and then returned after a hiatus of 7 years. One thing that I noticed this time (may be I didn’t notice this thing previously as I too was an unadulterated UPite or UPian at that time) was the sense of heroism in the people of this belt. I’ll give a short detail of one of my journeys from Lucknow to Firozabad to give you an idea of what I am talking about…and why I am taking about whatever I am talking about.

Well, the story dates back to sometime in Sept-Oct’08. My train from Lucknow to Firozabad got cancelled as it originated in Bihar and the people there had stopped all the transports from their state to anywhere else as one of the students from Bihar was killed by police in Maharashtra.

However, I came to know about the train’s cancellation just minutes before the scheduled departure of the train as the person at the enquiry counter kept on saying “train will arrive at the right time”. “No problem…I expect this here” I thought. Anyways, I enquired and came to know about an AC bus from Alambagh bus station. Frankly speaking, it was a jolt for me to be told that there were AC intra-state buses running in UP…The last time I travelled by bus in UP, there wasn’t even a decent semi-deluxe bus..!!! Unexpected.

So, there I was, at the bus stand, with luggage at the scheduled time…I straightaway went to the ticket counter and wow…the scene there was just overwhelming. It was so nice to see that though these people were supposed to be a bit more ‘cultured’ as this was a counter for AC Deluxe buses only, yet they hadn’t forgotten the sense of heroism that is attached with every UP walah since his birth. And thus, following the principle of “line wahin se shuru hoti hai jahan ham khade hote hain”, everyone was trying to push others and reach the counter first.

Though I am also a UPite/UPian, yet I am now an impure one with experience of so many other places. So instead of following Mr bachchan’s principle from ‘deewar’ I tried to explain the ‘cultured’ people about the merits of a queue. After a heated debate of 5-6 minutes, I was surprisingly, able to bring them in a queue…!!! Suddenly there entered another UP born hero…he came…he saw…he smiled…he ignored the queue and went directly to the ticket counter and tried to insert his hand in the semi-circular opening of the counter window, along with the person whose turn it was as per the queue…and voila…!! All the hell broke loose once again…!!!

I don’t remember how I managed to get the ticket in the end but I am sure the UPian inside me, must have helped me. I never expected the bus to be on time, even though, lucknow was the starting station. But for my utter dismay, the bus was there at the bus stop just 35 minutes after its scheduled departure. The driver parked it just in front of me and its headlights shone on my face as if it was trying to say “howzzat…? You thought I would be late by 3-4 hours???!!” I thought of replying by telling it about the punctuality of Mumbai locals but then changed my mind as I didn’t want to bereave the people of the wonderful experience of waiting for their bus at the ‘modern’ bus stands of UP.

So at last I stepped inside the bus to home and moved to my seat. Well, I won’t say that I was surprised to see someone sitting there already, but yes, I was a little annoyed when he refused to shift to some other place saying that seat numbers on the ticket don’t mean anything and its first come first snatch…!!! The conductor also gave me the same piece of wisdom and advised me to occupy someone else’s seat.

Ultimately, I took a seat; put my mobile in the vibration mode and prepared to sleep…how stupid of me…just a few years out of the state and it seems that I’ve forgotten the basic codes here. If you are a UPian, you are not less than a celebrity…you don’t need to worry about others…there is no need to drive on the right side of the road, no need to stop on red lights, no need to use indicators, no need to have basic courtesies…and though I had forgotten these basic things, others were still holding on to these traditions tight. So, on an average, after every 6.5 minutes, there was someone’s mobile ringing in full volume and of course, it was not only picked up each time, but the whole bus was made to hear the important conversations in high pitch and animated tones.

And the number of times the no-stop bus from Lucknow to Agra stopped on the way just confirmed the hypothesis that rules can’t bind the heroes and when a region is filled with them, he who tries to enforce the rules or follow those rules is an idiot amidst the heroes. How could I be one of them…!!! I quickly switched my mobile to ringing mode, started chatting with the half asleep person sitting next to me, switched on the lights above my seat and made the driver stop the bus at the point nearest to my home regardless of where the bus stop was. 1-2 people did try to intervene but couldn’t do anything as the UPian inside me had woken up…and truly speaking, it really did feel great to be among the heroes once again…

Damn you law fearing, protocols following and courtesy showing idiots…!!!

Pirates of the refrigerator...aka...An idler turns chef...!!!

For prerequisites, please refer to the previous post

Proclamation:

Chinese noodles when mixed with Indian spices became a huge hit as maggi…someone mixed something with other things and it got to be known as ‘bhelpuri’…someone tried vada with pav and it’s now probably the best known part of the Maharashtrian cuisine , and so on and so forth. I am sure that if I keep trying…I will (and maybe I already have) be able to invent something great…Tarla dalaal here I come…!!!

Disclaimer:

The author won’t be responsible if:
 Your mother catches you in the kitchen while trying these experiments.
 If you are lazier than the author (highly unlikely).
 You don’t know how to use the food processor or microwave or don’t know how to cut fruits/salads or if you hurt yourself while trying these courageous tasks.

Edible ‘Kachra’

Ingredients: Namkeens, cornflakes, white sauce, brown bread (or paranthas, if left from dinner), Onions, Tomatoes, kheera, green chillies, etc.
Process: Cut the bread/parantha, onions, tomatoes, kheera, green chillies, etc into as many pieces as you can (or better…just put all these things in a food processor and switch it on...please remember to put it off in time, else you will get a powder..!!!). Take two spoons each of all the namkeens and add some cornflakes. Mix the contents properly. Pour some white sauce (even some curd will do) into the mixture and add some roohafjah on top of that. Now you can be proud of your hard work…!!!

Drinkable ‘Something’

Ingredients: One scoop of vanilla, fruits (like mangoes, watermelon, melon, litchi or whatever is available), dry fruits, coke.
Process: Cut all the fruits into very small pieces and add dry fruits to it. Put the mixture into a firozabad made shining glass and add a vanilla scoop over it. Make sure that your parents are sound asleep and open a coke bottle, cover its mouth with your fingertip and shake it well. Point the bottle’s mouth towards the glass now and remove the finger gradually. Let the stream of coke jet enter into the glass with high pressure. Now take a spoon and mix everything in the glass quite well. Add the remaining coke to the mixture and you are ready with something great…!!!

An idler

Well so as a classic example of “excess of anything is bad”, an idler like me has got bored of the ample idle time he has right now and is therefore trying many a things to keep him occupied…!!!

Writing blogs is another attempt in that direction…but to remain honest with the idlers’ community, I promise that I’ll soon flush out all my enthusiasm regarding the blogs and will give my mind the same amount of rest as my body is enjoying right now.

Okay…so when I’ve decided to start writing, who will help me to decide what should I write about…??? Should I write about the great Indian political tug war or the economic crisis or the bleak job scenario or the IPL/T20 WC or barca beating MU or rafa bowing out in the 4^th round of FO or the volatility in the stock market or GM's bankruptcy or Taliban in Pakistan or LTTE in Srilanka or the reviews of the umpteen movies I’ve seen in the last few days…?

Ufff…writing on these topics would require some movement in the convolutions of the cerebrum of my brain which is just too much to ask for…!!! So let’s start with something new…what about some of my culinary inventions in these vacations…!!!

I always knew in some corner of my heart that I’ve dormant culinary talents(actually i m a very talented person :) more on this later) and this free time has given me a chance to build upon that despite the fact that I am not allowed to go anywhere near the cooking gas as my dear eye-doctor has asked to keep myself away from ‘dhoop and dhuan’ for sometime…!!

PRE-REQUISITES:

1. One should be nocturnal as no mother will allow these experiments taking place in her kitchen when she is awake and will instead fill you with her motherly dishes…!!!

2. One should be on dieting (seriously) and shouldn’t allow his/her mother to prepare sth for him/her for the short nights.

3. One should be of very open mind and should be ready to open anything in the kitchen…as obviously you won’t be knowing what is kept whereJ .

4. One shouldn’t be suffering from hydrophobia/saltophobia/kitchenophobia or watevr…!!!

Well…so now the recipes…or let’s wait for some time, as now it’s time for me to take some rest. Till that time you can try to get the requisites done…see you soon :)